My Life as a College Harlot
by adAprilShower
Summary: Deidara is just starting college. What was supposed to be a normal experience turns out to be something completely different: two men and a twisted love food web. Pairings: You'll see.
1. Introductions

**Hello everyone! Wie gehts? (Anyone who knows what that means gets a cookie) For all my Akatsuki fans, I have exactly what you're looking for, an Akatsuki college fic. I mist say, this story entertains me so. **

**P.S. The actual title is My Life as a College Whore, but I didn't that I could put that as the title so I switched it to harlot. **

**Summary: Deidara is just starting college. What was supposed to be a normal experience turns out to be something completely different: two men and a twisted love food web. **

**My Life as a College Whore**

There are four main points in the education timeline. First was entering school, and then moving on to middle school, then high school and lastly, college. That what Deidara thought anyways, and he was actually at the last stage.

"This is the moment I've been waiting for, un," Deidara said to himself as he walked through the hallways of his dorm. The artist found his room and entered.

He was surprised to see his roommate was already there. The man had on a swirly orange mask and thick clothes despite the nice autumn weather outside. His roommate looked at him, at least Deidara assumed, and bounced over to the blonde. "Hi I'm Tobi! Are you my roommate? What's your name?" he asked excitedly.

"Yeah, hi. My name's Deidara, un," Deidara said, "Nice to meet you…um, why are you wearing a mask, un?"

"What mask?" Tobi asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Uh…never mind," Deidara said, not wanting to rain on his roommate's parade or anything.

"Hey, I'm going to meet my friends now! Do you want to come?" Tobi asked happily.

Deidara thought about it for a second. He had to unpack, but it would e foolish to miss out on the opportunity to meet new people. "Ok sure, un," Deidara said.

"Great!" Tobi said and grabbed Deidara's hand to drag him to the cafeteria, "Let's go!"

**-Break-**

Tobi had never slowed down or let go of Deidara the whole way to the cafeteria. By the time they got there Deidara knew his hair was a mess. Tobi let go of him when they reached a table with nine other people.

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi yelled, mauling a black/white man.

"Hello Tobi, **get off me**," he said. (A/N The white side is normal, the black side is bold. They each have different attitudes.)

"Who this?" one of them asked, eyeing Deidara. He had short, orange hair and a lot of piercings.

"This is my roommate, Deidara," Tobi said, still clinging to the one called Zetsu.

"Nice to meet you Deidara. Here, I'll introduce you to everyone," the orange haired one said helpfully, "I'm Pein, this is my girlfriend, Konan," Pein said, pointing out a blue haired women, making an origami swan, "This is Itachi Uchiha, we call him Itchy for short," Itachi eyed Deidara with a smirk and adjusted his small, stylish glasses. "This is Kisame," Pein continued, gesturing to the fish like man who nodded in greeting. "This is Hidan, he swears a lot," Pein said, just as the silver haired man yelled out a few profanities. "Next is Hidan's boyfriend, Kakuzu," Kakuzu was counting money, occasionally rolling his eyes at his spastic boyfriend. "You already know Tobi, but here's a tip. He lived in his own little world so it's best to let him do his thing. Then we have Zetsu, Tobi claims he's Zetsu's boyfriend, but that hasn't been confirmed. Oh yeah, and he's bipolar," Zetsu waved to Deidara with one hand and flipped him off with the other. "Then we have Sasori, he's our art major," Pein said pointing out the red haired man. Deidara already liked him best, he was gorgeous and he liked art (un)! Sasori gave Deidara and uninterested look and the blonde blushed. "Oh and last, Sasori's boyfriend, Orochimaru," Pein finished (eek). Deidara felt disappointment well up inside him when he heard that. "One last thing, everyone except Konan and I are gay. I hope that's not a problem," Pein said.

"Oh no, I'm gay too," Deidara said, surprised at how easily he could say it, "So I can hang out with you guys?"

"Sure, take a seat wherever," Pein said, returning to his seat next to Konan.

Deidara, of course, decided to sit next to Sasori, which was also next to Itachi and across from Kisame.

"What's your major Deidara?" Kisame asked him and Itachi also focused on him.

Deidara glanced at Sasori before responding, "Art, minor in engineering, un," he said.

Sasori heard and perked up, switching his attention to Deidara, "Really? What kind?" he asked.

"Sculpture, un," Deidara replied, glad that Sasori was paying attention to him.

"That's interesting. I draw, but I also enjoy puppetry. There's no classes for that though," Sasori said.

"Oh that's cool, un," Deidara said with a smile. He wanted to continue talking, but Sasori was dragged away by Orochimaru, saying that they had to go.

"See ya guys, we should talk about art sometime Deidara," Sasori said and Deidara nodded.

The two left, but not before Deidara caught Orochimaru eyeing Itachi. The Uchiha scoffed after he left and Deidara looked at him questioningly.

Itachi smirked at Deidara's look, "Orochimaru asked me out and I rejected him. He's still mad about it," Itachi explained, "You ever have a boyfriend blondie?"

Blondie? "Oh…no, un," Deidara said, Itachi was kind of intimidating (A/N Kind of?).

"That's surprising," Itachi remarked, running a long finger along Deidara's jaw, causing the blonde to blush.

"What the fucking hell Itachi?" Hidan yelled, catching Itachi's action, "Quit fucking with Deidara you damn whore! You'll fucking scare him away like the last few people dammit!"

"If the swearing doesn't do it first," Kakuzu said, rolling his eyes.

Itachi scowled, but retracted him hand. Deidara was still red as a tomato.

"Fuck off Hidan; I can do whatever I want," Itachi said, "Unless you want me to stop Deidara…" Itachi added, looking at the blonde intensely.

"Hold on Mr. Psychology Major. You're just messing with his mind so he won't say anything," Kisame said with a shark-like smile.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and lowered his glasses to the tip of his nose, "Am I Kisame?" he asked.

"You're trying to do it right now, but I know you to well to fall for that old trick," Kisame said to Itachi, then turned to Deidara, "Itachi likes to mess with people, sorry about that."

"Oh, its ok, un," Deidara said nervously, "It was nice meeting you all, but I really need to go unpack." He got up to leave and so did Itachi.

"I'll go with you," he said.

"O-ok," Deidara said, still nervous, "See you guys, un."

"Yeah, see ya later," Itachi said.

Everyone gave them some form of goodbye and the two exited the cafeteria.

"Where's your room?" Itachi asked Deidara as they went outside and were greeted by a cool autumn breeze.

"Building C, un," Deidara said, his fear of Itachi fading a little.

"Me too," Itachi said. It was silent as they walked there until Itachi said, "You like Sasori."

"W-what? How would you know, un?" Deidara asked surprised.

"I'm good with these sort of things," Itachi replied, "Too bad or you he has a boyfriend."

"Thanks for the sympathy," Deidara said sarcastically.

They reached their dorm and Deidara entered, only to have Itachi push him up against the wall next to the front door.

"Sarcastic too? And I thought you were just a pretty face…and a sexy body," he said, smirking. Itachi slowly moved him hand up to Deidara's neck and felt his pulse, looking quite satisfied when he felt how fast it was. "See ya Dei," he said and left.

**-Break-**

After the episode with Itachi, Deidara unpacked and set up his room the way he liked it. Then he decided to take a walk around campus, it was a nice day and he needed to clear his head from the Itachi thing. Who should he happen to find but Sasori, sketching on a bench.

"Hi Sasori, un." Deidara said happily, going to sit next to him.

"Oh, hi…Deidara right?" he asked.

"That's right, un. What are you doing?" Deidara asked, eyeing Sasori's sketchbook.

"Just sketching, autumn scenes are fun to draw," he said.

"Oh…I had a question. Could you tell me anything about Itachi, un?" Deidara asked, hoping to find out about his behavior.

"That depends on what you want to know," Sasori answered.

"Does he…come on to a lot of people?" Deidara asked.

Sasori scoffed at that, "He doesn't really mean to 'come on' to anybody. He just likes to make people squirm, usually by seducing them with his good looks. I kind of think he's a psychopath, but he's very good at reading and controlling people," Sasori said, like it was completely normal.

"Oh, that's interesting, un," Deidara said, surprised and creeped out at the same time.

"Yeah but only to new people or anyone he doesn't know. In a week or so he'll get used to you and start acting like the usual Itchy," Sasori assured.

"Thanks Sasori," Deidara said, "That's good to know, un."

**I love writing Hidan and Kakuzu. Just thought I'd say that. Anyways, I hope you liked the first chapter! See you next time. Please review, they make me happy. **


	2. Livin La Vida Loca

**Gomen, gomen, gomen (bows head in shame). I already explained myself in my profile so if you want an explanation, go there. I promise to update sooner next time. Though I don't know for sure how much I'll be updating because I got into AP English and have homework over the summer. **

**My Life as a College Whore**

Just as Sasori said, after a week Itachi treated Deidara more normally. Deidara himself felt like he was definitely part of the group. He complained like Hidan, joked with Kisame, talked a lot with Itachi, watched out for Tobi and then there was Sasori; still gorgeous, still artistic, still taken. Deidara was proud to say that they were pretty close. Sasori was an artistic genius and Deidara had taken to calling the redhead his 'danna' which Sasori didn't seem to mind.

One day, Itachi and Kisame, who were roommates, came to their table as usual, but Itachi had a strange glint in his eye and was carrying a CD player.

"Uh oh, Itchy has that look, what are we planning now?" Konan asked.

"And why do I feel it has something to do with Deidara?" Pein added.

"Huh? What does it have to do with me?" Deidara asked, confused.

"Itachi likes to give people 'challenges'. **And bad ones too, the weasely bastard**," Zetsu said…kind of helpfully.

"Yep, and you haven't had one yet, Deidara," Kakuzu said.

"What? Do I seriously have to do this?" Deidara asked a bit frightened.

"It's either that or have him fuck with your fucking mind, trust me, that's fucking worse…fuck," said Hidan.

"Come on, it's not _that_ bad," Kisame said, "Burning money in front of Kakuzu, eating fish in front of me, Sasori cross dressing, Orochimaru groping a twelve year old…though he did like it…"

"Shut up," Orochimaru said.

"See, he doesn't even deny it," Kisame said.

Itachi smirked in conformation of all of this.

"Sasori-danna?" Deidara asked nervously, hoping for assistance.

"Sorry Dei, I can't help you with this one," Sasori said, shaking his head.

"Better to just get it over with," Pein suggested.

"Don't worry Deidara-sempai, Tobi will visit your grave every day," Tobi said, trying to be helpful.

"How's that supposed to help Tobi?!" Deidara yelled at him. Tobi had a tendency to make him lose his patience.

"Don't hurt Tobi, sempai! Tobi is a good boy," he cried.

"Well, if you're all done…" Itachi said, placing the CD player on the table, "You know the song _My Humps_, don't you Deidara?"

"Oh god…" Deidara said, already not liking the direction this was going.

"Man, this sounds good already," Kisame said, excitedly.

"Now you're going to get on this table and sing," Itachi said, smirking.

"The girl part?" Deidara asked.

"No, the transvestite part, of course the girl part," Itachi said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I guess I could sing…" Deidara said.

"And dance, unless you can't," Itachi said, smirking some more.

Deidara looked scared for a second, but then got a determined look on his face. "Fine, bring it. Of course I can dance. I bring new meaning to the word blonde bombshell, un," he said, getting up on the table.

Sasori cocked an eyebrow and Itachi's smirk grew, "I'm sure you do," he said, "And since I'm a nice guy, I'll sing the guy part for you."

"Ok, get up here," Deidara said, tapping his foot.

"No thanks, I'll stay down here and keep my dignity," Itachi said.

"Ass, fine, let's do this, un," Deidara said.

"He sure is brave. I've never seen anyone get into one of Itachi's challenged like this" Kakuzu said to Sasori.

"He didn't have to cross dress," Sasori said.

"I've never seen Itachi offer to take part in any of his challenges. That's surprised me," Kisame noted, "He does seem kind of fond of Deidara."

"He's just still in the whole 'seduce the new guy' phase," Sasori said.

"Oh? Is that…jealousy?" Kisame asked, grinning maliciously at Sasori.

"No, I'm just saying it based on what I know about Itachi," Sasori said with such conviction that Kisame just shrugged and returned his attention to Deidara and Itachi.

Itachi turned on the CD player and Deidara began to move his hips to the beat of the song.

Itachi: _What you gon' do with all that junk?_

_All that junk inside that trunk?_

Deidara: _I'ma get, get, get you drunk_

_Get you drunk off my hump_

_My hump (X a lot) my lovely little lumps_

By now, everyone in the cafeteria was staring at Deidara, some nosebleeding, but the blonde ignored them.

_I drive these brothers crazy_

_I do it on the daily_

_They treat me really nicely_

_They buy me all these ices_

_Dolce and Gabbana_

_Fendi and NaDonna_

_Kara, they be sharin'_

_All their money got me wearin' fly_

_They say they love my ass 'n_

_Seven Jeans, True Religion_

_I say no, but they keep givin'_

_So I keep on takin'_

_And no, I ain't taken_

_We can keep on datin' _

_I keep on demonstratin' _

_My love, my love, my love, my love_

_You love my lady lumps_

_My humps, my humps, my hu-_

Suddenly Deidara was pulled off the table with a loud 'thump'.

"Hey, what the hell?!" Deidara asked and Sasori pointed to the administrator who had just walked in.

Itachi turned off the CD player and smirked at Deidara, "I must say, that was very impressive," he said.

"Thanks," Deidara said.

"You enjoyed it? That takes out all the fun, but it was quite a show," Itachi said, raising his eyebrows.

Sasori snorted, "It was easier than the usual ones," he said.

Itachi observed Sasori for a moment, "True," he admitted. _"You want Deidara too, huh? Well, to bad for you, Sasori. He's going to be mine."_

"Well, it was fun and all, but I must go see if I can regain any of my morality and dignity, un," Deidara said.

"I'll go with you," Itachi said, giving Sasori a look.

"_Shit, what's he looking at me like that for?" _Sasori thought, "_Bastard." _

Everyone said goodbye to the two except Hidan who was trying to figure out Deidara's earlier comment. Once they reached the door, he shouted, "That makes to fucking sense!"

**-Break-**

When they reached Deidara's room, the blonde pulled out his keys and opened the door, "Well, see ya Itchy," he said.

"Hold on," Itachi said and grabbed Deidara's arm, forcing the blonde to face him. The Uchiha smirked and kissed Deidara roughly on the lips. Deidara's eyes widened and he pulled away.

"W-what are you doing?" he asked nervously, trying to remove his arm from Itachi's grasp.

"What does it look like, Dei?" Itachi asked.

"Listen Itachi, I'm flattered, but I like Sasori, remember?" Deidara said desperately.

"Sasori? You mean the one with a _boyfriend_?" Itachi asked pointedly.

"Well, yeah, un," Deidara said, giving up on trying to get away.

"Silly Deidara," Itachi said, twirling the artist's blonde hair around his finger, "I'm better than him. You're not even his type."

"What exactly do you want Itachi?" Deidara asked, pensive.

"A boyfriend. You," Itachi answered, smirking.

"_I guess it couldn't hurt. And Itachi's is a pretty cool guy," _Deidara thought. He leaned down and kissed Itachi lightly on the lips.

"Is that a yes?" Itachi asked and the blonde nodded.

**-Break-**

The next day, Itachi picked Deidara up at his room and the two went to the cafeteria together to meet their friends.

The second they both sat down, Itachi made it know about him and Deidara. "Listen motherfuckers, Deidara's with me so hands and all other appendages off," he said and Deidara blushed.

"I saw that coming," Pein commented.

Itachi looked around the table to gauge his friend's reactions. _"Doesn't care, doesn't care, money, doesn't care, Tobi's a good boy, doesn't care, ha Sasori's jealous, disappointment…wait," _Itachi looked closely at Kisame. Yep, definitely disappointment, he'd have to look into that.

"_Bastard," _Sasori thought, seething, _"I'm better for Deidara than him. Oh right, I have a boyfriend." _(A/N Lulz, fighting over Dei)

"Good morning, Sasori-danna. How are you?" Sasori snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look at the smiling blonde.

"I'm fine Deidara and congratulation," Sasori said, twitching slightly, "Oh! I have something for you."

"A present, un?" Deidara asked, ignoring Sasori's congratulations.

Sasori pulled a drawing out of his sketchbook and handed it to Deidara.

"It's me, un," Deidara said, surprised to see a drawing of his profile. He was smiling slightly an had his hand resting on his chin.

"Yeah, I drew it during lunch yesterday," Sasori said, pleased with the blonde's reaction.

"Really? I didn't notice you looking at me," Deidara said, blushing a light pink.

"I only looked once, I did it from memory," Sasori informed him.

"Wow, thanks Sasori, un. It's really ni-" Deidara stopped when he felt a finger trace his jaw, "Oh, Itachi!"

"You drew that Sasori? Very nice," Itachi said, wrapping his arms around Deidara an giving the redhead a look.

"Thanks Itchy," Sasori said coolly. _"Fuck, he knows. Which means…he's doing this on purpose," _Sasori realized and scowled, causing Itachi's smirk to grow.

"Thanks again Sasori, I'll put it somewhere special, un," Deidara said, oblivious to the Sasori's scowl and Itachi's evil smirk.

"Here, I'll sign it for you," Sasori said, taking the sheet of paper, "In case I get super famous or something…though it's doubtful."

"Oh, I don't think so Sasori-danna, un. You're a great artist," Deidara said, taking the now signed drawing.

Itachi noticed Sasori signed it 'Sasori-danna'. Was he mocking him? Itachi frowned and glared at Sasori, "Where's Orochimaru?" he asked.

"He's in class," Sasori said, annoyed.

Still not noticing Sasori and Itachi's little showdown, Deidara checked his watch. "Oh look, it's time for class for me, un. Let's go Itachi," Deidara said, standing up.

"Of course, Dei-chan," Itachi said, smirking one last time at Sasori.

"Bye Sasori-danna. Thanks again," Deidara said happily.

Sasori sighed as he watched the two walk away hand in hand, "See ya, Dei," he murmured.

**-Break-**

**Saturday Night, One Week Later**

Even though it was Saturday night, Deidara was in his room studying for a test he had on Monday. That is, until the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Deidara told Tobi, who was bouncing off the walls as usual, "Hello?"

"Hey Dei, you busy?" Itachi asked from the other end of the line.

"Well, I was studying for a test…but of there's something you want to do, I can always study tomorrow," Deidara said.

"Really? Could you come by my room then?" Itachi asked.

"Sure, I'll be there in a minute," Deidara said. They said their goodbyes and Deidara put his school books away.

"I'm going to Itachi's," Deidara told Tobi, "Be a good boy, ok?"

"Bye, Deidara-sempai! Tobi is a good boy," Tobi said.

Deidara left and knocked on the door to the room next to his, which was Pein and Zetsu's room. Zetsu answered the door.

"I'm going to Itachi's so Tobi's by himself," Deidara informed him.

"Ok, thanks Dei. **What the fuck makes you think I care?**" Zetsu said.

He closed the door and Deidara left. Once he'd gone up the flight of stairs, Zetsu came out of his room and went to see Tobi.

When Itachi answered the door and saw Deidara, he smirked. "Good evening," he said, taking Deidara's hand and pulling him inside.

"What did you want to do, un?" Deidara asked innocently.

"I know exactly what I want to do," Itachi said seductively, running his hands down the blonde's sides.

"I-Itachi…?" Deidara questioned, "What are you doing?"

"I think you know what I'm doing," Itachi said, placing his hands on Deidara's waist.

"What about Kisame?" Deidara asked, knowing where this was going.

"He's obviously not here," Itachi said, getting annoyed. He was horny dammit.

"Wait Itachi, I've read this fanfiction before…" Deidara said, "What if he walks in on us?"

"He's gone for the weekend," Itachi assured, "And I informed him that if he came back earlier than expected, he might walk in on a…hot scene. He beat it out of here pretty quick." Itachi moved his hand to the button on Deidara's jeans.

"But…Sasori…" Deidara said, becoming desperate.

Itachi took his glasses off and glared at Deidara, "You're still going on about that? You're my boyfriend. You're not supposed to be lusting after other guys," he said.

"I'm not lusting," Deidara said.

"Whatever you say Dei, but really, everybody wants me. I'm the embodiment of sexiness," Itachi said (A/N So modest isn't he?).

"I wouldn't get to full of myself," Deidara said. Forgetting his earlier qualms and pulling Itachi down on his bed with him.

**-Break-**

_Knock, knock_

Itachi groaned and stalked to the door, pulling on his pants along the way. It was Sasori.

"Man, it's hot in there Itachi. What did you do?" Sasori asked, a wave of heat hitting him when Itachi answered the door.

Itachi smirked deviously, "I call it a homemade heater. Did you want something?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, I was wondering of you knew where-" he stopped when he saw Deidara walk up behind Itachi in only his boxers.

"Ita, if it's Tobi tell him-" Deidara's eyes widened when he saw Sasori, "Oh, hi Sasori-danna, un," he said, turning completely red. The blonde knew Sasori was smart enough to figure out what he and Itachi had obviously just did.

Itachi glanced between Sasori and Deidara, his smirk turning evil. "Anyways, didn't you want something Sasori-_danna_?" Itachi asked. (A/N Oh _hell no_)

Sasori ran a hand though his hair and sighed, "Never mind, forget it. Have a good night you two," he said, ignoring Itachi's mocking to the Uchiha's disappointment. Sasori turned and walked quickly away.

"What was that about, un?" Deidara asked.

"Nothing, I'm sure. Did you want to stay the rest of the night?" Itachi asked, going to back into the room.

"Sure, un," Deidara said, giving Sasori's retreating figure one last glance before closing the door.

**Ok, know the Sasodei fans are probably all D: and the Itachi fans are wondering why he is such a bastard (let's face it people he is…or he pretends to be (cough) spoiler (cough)) And I'm sorry there's no lemon, but I'm a Sasodei fan and I haven't written a lemon for them yet so writing an Itadei one before a Sasodei one would feel wrong. Please review, even though it took forever for me to update. **


	3. The Move

Hello again

**Hello again. Welcome back. First off, I have a poll up on my profile/bio or whatever so YOU GUYS can vote on what story I post next (And I really need the votes, so far, it's a four way tie). ALSO, something maybe exciting! A chance to meet me! I'll be going to Ikasucon 2008 in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I don't know which day yet, but I'll be there so if anyone's going maybe we'll see each other. If I Cosplay at all, I'll probably be Teru Mikami from Death Note, if not I'll probably have my Deidara t-shirt that I made that says 'Art is a Bang' on the front and has an Akatsuki cloud on the back. It'll be my first con and I don't know how difficult it would be to find me, but if any of you are going let me know, I'd love to meet any of my readers. With that said, on with the next chapter!**

**My Life as a College Whore**

One month after first getting…um, intimate with Itachi, Deidara sat under a tree on campus, contemplating his relationship with the Uchiha. They had been going out for a little over a month, but their bond wasn't as strong as Deidara thought it should be. In all honesty, ever since they first had sex, that was all they did. Or at least, all Itachi wanted to do. Deidara thought they were more like, friends with benefits rather than a couple. His feelings for Sasori, however, had graduated from crush to love. But what could Deidara do? Sasori didn't like him like that and they both had boyfriends.

The blonde artist closed his eyes and sighed in exasperation. He heard footsteps nearing and opened his eyes to see Sasori standing over him.

"Hey Sasori-danna, what's up, un?" Deidara asked.

"Pein wants us to go to out dorm, he has an announcement," Sasori told him.

"Oh, ok," Deidara said, getting up. The two walked together towards the building. Deidara glanced at Sasori who he thought looked a little bothered. "Is something wrong, un?" the blonde asked.

Sasori sighed, "Orochimaru left," he said simply.

"What do you mean?" Deidara asked, not understanding what the redhead meant by 'left'.

"Two ways: One broke up with me and two, transferred to a different school," Sasori said, sounding surprisingly uncaring.

"I'm sorry Sasori-danna, un," Deidara said, although he was kind of glad.

"It's alright. We never had much in common, or the best relationship," Sasori said.

"I know how that feels," Deidara murmured. Before Sasori could ask him what he meant, they reached their dorm. Pein, Zetsu and Tobi were waiting for them.

"There you are Deidara," Pein said, "Thanks for bringing him Sasori." He added and said redhead nodded. "Ok, since, as you all must know by know, Orochimaru left the rooms with be switched a bit. I'm getting my own room, since I'm dorm leader. Zetsu is moving in with Tobi and Deidara, you'll be with Sasori." Pein explained.

"Yay, you get to stay with me Zetsu-san," Tobi said happily.

"That's right Tobi. **Yeah, yeah, just terrific," **Zetsu replied.

"I'll miss you Deidara-sempai," Tobi then said to his old roommate.

"I'll still get to see you Tobi," Deidara assured him, then turned to smile at Sasori who just shrugged.

With the five of them working together, they were able to have everyone moved within a few hours.

"Wow, Sasori-danna. Wasn't Orochimaru creeped out by all the puppets?" Deidara asked, looking around Sasori's room, which he had never been in until today.

"He shouldn't have, he had shelves full of potions containing god knows what himself," Sasori grumbled, "I'm glad I get to stay with you though, I get along with you better."

"Deidara smiled, pleased. "Good, because I think we'll be seeing a lot more of each other," he said.

**-Break-**

The next day was the first day of winter break and Deidara and Sasori had spent most of the day hanging out, much to the blonde's enjoyment. However, he really had to go talk to Itachi and tell him he had switched rooms in case the Uchiha went looking for him. That obviously didn't matter much though, because Itachi never did look for him.

"Hey Sasori-danna, I need to go see Itachi, so I'll see you later, un," Deidara said, not really wanting to leave. The two had been in their room most of the day, Sasori explained how his puppets worked to Deidara and the blonde showed Sasori his sculptures.

"Oh…well, I'll see you later then," Sasori said, hiding his disappointment.

Deidara reluctantly made his way to Itachi's room, wishing he could stay with Sasori longer. Deidara reached Itachi's room and opened the door without knocking; Itachi always said he could just come in. Though Itachi probably wouldn't say that if he knew Deidara would see what he was seeing now. Itachi, though actually quite short, had Kisame backed up against the wall opposite the door, a little closer than friends should be.

"Itachi, please don't," Kisame was saying, but the look on his face said something else.

"Oh stop Kisame, I know you really like me," Itachi said, pressing closer to Kisame, but their faces were kind of far apart because of the height difference, "You may be the only one that doesn't fall for my mind tricks, but that doesn't mean I can't tell that you're thinking about me."

"I'm not denying it Itachi, but this isn't right. You have a boyfriend, what about Dei-," Kisame happened to look up and spotted Deidara standing there, "Oh, hi Deidara."

Itachi spun around and also saw Deidara, "Shit," he muttered.

"I guess it's safe to saw we're over," Deidara said before turning around and walking back down the hall. As he did so, he tried to make his steps heavier, or maybe even cry, but he just couldn't. All he felt was relief.

"Hey, Deidara."

The blonde turned around and looked at Itachi who was standing a few feet away from him. "Sorry about that. You're right about it being over, but can we still be friends?" he asked.

Deidara smiled despite himself. "Of course, you go get back to Kisame now. Tell him I wish you two the best," Deidara said, and continued walking away, "See you tomorrow."

"Wait a second, Dei," Itachi said, and the artist turned to look at him, "Good luck with Sasori."

"Deidara's smile grew, "Thanks, un," he replied.

**-Break-**

When Deidara reentered his room, only a few minutes after leaving, Sasori looked at him in surprise. "What are you doing back so soon?" he asked.

Deidara went over to his bed and sat down with a sigh, "We didn't have much in common," he said.

Sasori also sat down on Deidara's bed, next to him. "Are you and Itachi over?" he asked and Deidara nodded, "You don't seem too upset."

"Nah, we didn't have the best relationship," Deidara said, "Kisame and Itachi make a better couple, un."

"He cheated on you?" Sasori guessed.

"He would have if Kisame let him," Deidara said, "Though I can't blame him. I would have too if I knew the person I loved felt the same way, un." The two were quiet for a minute. "Man, I just realized how tired I am!" Deidara suddenly said. He took his hair out of its hair tie, letting his thick blonde hair fall down around his shoulders and face.

Sasori had to hold back from touching it. "Well, goodnight," he said, getting up. He walked passed Deidara, and the blonde grabbed his hand. Deidara opened his mouth like he wanted to say something.

"Goodnight, Sasori-danna," he said, after a second. He lit go of the redhead's hand and looked at him shyly though a curtain of blonde hair.

Sasori smirked and pushed Deidara's hair out of his eyes, leaving his hand there a moment longer than necessary. "Goodnight," he repeated.

**I'm such a goddamn tease, I know. See you next time and remember to vote in the poll. Review pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaassse. **


	4. Sunday Morning

Well, this is the last chapter

**Well, this is the last chapter. I know it was fast, I don't want to talk about it. Now, I might not put up another Akatsuki story for a while except for updating Project Akatsuki, but I do have ideas for, I think, three other ones. I just have to write them, but I'm occupied by two other stories so I do not know when they will be posted. I hope you'll all bear with be though. Happy reading. **

**P.S. This is also my first Sasodei lemon, so bear with me please. **

**My Life as a College Whore**

"God, what's going on over there?" Deidara asked Sasori, as the walked over to their usual table for breakfast the next day. They were a little late (Sasori: I couldn't get Deidara's lazy ass up) and it looks like something had already started. Hidan was singing _Gay Bar_, apparently to Kakuzu and judging by the evil smirk on Itachi's face, he was the cause of this. By the time Sasori and Deidara reached the table, Hidan had stopped singing because after the '_I want to spend all your money_ line', Kakuzu passed out.

"Dammit Itachi, you bastard, give me a fucking dollar to wake him up! You're the fucking cause of this dammit!" Hidan was yelling at Itachi.

Itachi sighed and handed the man a five dollar bill, which Hidan held over Kakuzu. The money loving man immediately grabbed the bill and shoved it in his pocket.

"Aww, we missed it, un," Deidara said, he and Sasori sitting down next to each other at the end of the table.

"That was absolutely priceless," Kisame said, "Too bad you missed it. Good one Itachi."

The Uchiha smirked and Sasori glared at him, until he noticed Deidara talking to Itachi like nothing was wrong.

"So is anyone going home over winter break, un?" Deidara asked and everyone shook their heads no.

"Most of us don't really have any family," Sasori said.

"You're not going to see your grandparents Sasori?" Pein asked.

"Yeah right, like I would want to see those dinosaurs," the redhead replied.

"What about you Itachi? Not going to see your family?" Kisame asked.

"My parents are going on vacation, which means Sasuke and his boyfriend are probably going to be screwing on every possible surface of the house," Itachi said, "And I might be cruel to Sasuke at times, but even _I'm_ not evil enough to get in the way of their fun."

"You're only saying that because you're going to be doing the exact same thing," Konan said. Itachi glanced at Kisame and smirked, letting her know she was correct.

Kisame coughed, embarrassed, "Is Sasuke still with Naruto-kun then?" he asked.

"Two years," Itachi replied, "He's fourteen and their relationship is more serious then any I've ever had."

"Zetsu-san, what does Itachi mean by 'screwing'?" Tobi asked.

"Um…I'll tell you when you're older Tobi. **Goddammit Itachi!**"

**-Break-**

"Well, this has been an interesting week," Deidara said to Sasori after they returned to their room.

"A good kind of interesting, or bad?" Sasori asked.

"Both I guess. I got dumped which isn't that great, but I got move in with you," Deidara said, hiding his blush.

"Yeah, same here," Sasori agreed.

"We should go out and do something. So we have a good close to this weird week, un," Deidara suggested.

"Yeah…I know what we can do! We can go to the karaoke bar," Sasori suggested.

"Karaoke?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah, we do it all the time. Do you want to?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah," Deidara said, nodding, "Let's go get everyone, un."

**-Break-**

In the end, only Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu ended up going to the bar. Pein was over at Konan's so there was no way to get them because there weren't any boys allowed in the girls dorm (nobody knows how Pein manages to get in) and there was no answer at Tobi and Zetsu's room.

Anyways, they had already been there a few hours. Itachi and Kisame sang _Beauty and the Beast_, which was creepy but somehow sweet and Kakuzu and Hidan couldn't agree on a song to sing.

Deidara was at the bar, getting Sasori and himself something to drink when the 'Zombie Twins' popped up next to him.

"Hey Dei, Itachi tells us you like Sasori," Kakuzu said.

"Oh…um…well," Deidara sputtered and blushed, _"Damn Itachi." _

"Holy hell, it's fucking true," Hidan said, seeing how flustered Deidara was.

"Don't worry, we won't tell anyone," Kakuzu assured, "…for a price."

"For the love of Jashin Kakuzu, can you not think of money for two fucking seconds?!" Hidan yelled.

"Dammit Hidan, I was kidding!" Kakuzu yelled back. The two began arguing and Deidara took this opportunity to slip away.

_-Meanwhile-_

Sasori sat waiting for Deidara to return with their drinks, wishing he would hurry up because the look Itachi was giving him was making him uncomfortable and Sasori knew he had something up his sleeve.

"Hey Sasori,"

Too late.

"You like Deidara, right?" Itachi asked.

"Quit being such a fucker, Itchy. You know I do," Sasori answered, looking annoyed.

"I was his boyfriend remember? He's a great fuck," Itachi said with a smirk and Sasori blushed. (This is Itachi's way of helping Deidara, scary no?)

"Itachi…" Kisame said warningly, he knew Itachi planned on 'helping' by dangling what Sasori wanted most in an obnoxious way.

"It's okay Kisame, I'm just letting Sasori here know how good Deidara is," Itachi said, "He'll even beg if you tease him enough."

Sasori narrowed his eyes at Itachi, "I don't appreciate you talking about Deidara like that," he said, still blushing.

"Oh sorry, do you like them sappy? Deidara's like that too, always wanting to cuddle and shit like that," Itachi said, "But still, he-oh hey Deidara."

Deidara had just returned and sat back down next to Sasori, handing the redhead his drink. "Are you ok Sasori-danna? You're all red, un," Deidara said.

"Yes, I'm fine Deidara," Sasori said, avoiding his eyes.

"Where are Kakuzu and Hidan?" Kisame asked.

"Oh, they were arguing about Kakuzu's money obsession or something," Deidara said, thinking back to their conversation. The blonde looked back to where the two were arguing but they were gone.

"Angry bathroom sex," Itachi predicted.

Apparently, he was right because when the two returned, Hidan's shirt was ripped and Kakuzu was counting his money.

"Hey Kakuzu, why do you always count your money after sex?" Deidara asked.

"That's because once Hidan stole my wallet when I wasn't paying any attention," Kakuzu said, satisfied to find all his money still there.

"Dammit Kakuzu, I just needed some money to buy Pein a damn birthday present," Hidan yelled. This caused the two to start arguing again.

"Hey, Sasori, Deidara, why don't you two song something?" Itachi suggested, ignoring the bickering couple.

"Ok, do you want to Sasori-danna, un?" Deidara asked.

"I don't know…" Sasori said, unsure.

"Come on Sasori, I'll pick the song if you want," Itachi said.

"Fine, but there's no way in hell I'm letting you pick the song Itachi," Sasori said to the Uchiha. God knows what Itachi would pick.

Itachi looked very satisfied as he watched the two go through the necessary steps to sing. Sasori looked kind of scared to be on stage, but Deidara looked very excited.

"Here we have Sasori and Deidara singing _Sunday Morning_," the MC announced.

(A/N Use your imagination)

**Sunday morning rain is falling  
Steal some covers share some skin  
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable  
You twist to fit the mold that I am in  
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do  
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew  
That someday it would bring me back to you  
That someday it would bring me back to you  
That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning  
And I never want to leave  
Fingers trace your every outline  
Paint a picture with my hands  
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm  
Change the weather still together when it ends  
That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning  
And I never want to leave **

**Oh yeah  
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do  
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you  
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you  
Find a way to bring myself home to you  
And you may not know  
That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me **

**Driving slow on Sunday morning**

**Driving slow, yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah**

**Flower in your hair, I'm a flower in your hair**

The two returned to their table, both a little embarrassed from singing together.

Itachi smirked, "You know, you two looked really good up there," he said, a pleased glint in his eye. Kisame nodded in agreement.

Both turned red, Sasori shrugged and Deidara ran a hand through his hair.

Itachi smirked again, _"Those two will be together by the end of the night." _

**-Break-**

When the two returned to their room that night, Deidara promptly sat on his bed with a happy sigh.

"That was fun, we should do it again soon," the blonde said.

"Yeah," Sasori agreed, sitting down next to Deidara.

Deidara took out his hair tie and laid back, his blonde hair fanning out on the bed.

"Hey Dei?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah?" Deidara answered, sitting up again to look at Sasori, his blonde hair in his face. The redhead couldn't resist running his hand through Deidara's hair.

"Sasori-danna?" Deidara questioned, his voice shaky from nervousness and excitement.

Sasori looked Deidara in the eye and smirked, the hand in the blonde's hair tightened and he pulled the other artist closer to him. The redhead paused when their lips were a breath apart, before crashing them together. Deidara gasped in surprise and Sasori took this opportunity to let his tongue wander into the other's mouth, deepening the kiss. Before Deidara could respond, Sasori pushed him down onto the bed and straddled him, still ravishing the blonde's mouth. When he pulled away, both of them were breathing heavily.

"Sa-Sasori…wha-."

"No," the redhead whispered, not wanting to talk about what was now happening between them. After Deidara got over the shock, he wrapped his arms around the other's neck to bring him closer. Sasori broke the kiss and began kissing down the blonde's jaw.

"Sa-Sasori-danna, I love you, un," Deidara murmured.

Sasori quickly pulled away and looked into Deidara's eyes, that where looking back into his lovingly.

"I love you too," he whispered.

**-Break-**

A few days later and it was the last day of winter break. However, Sasori was a bit frustrated to say the least. Things were going great with Deidara, but Itachi's words kept echoing through his head. _"He's a great fuck."_ Believe it or not, they had not gone that far over the last few days. Deidara didn't want to, though Sasori didn't know why. Since it was the last day of break, the two would have less time to screw around, and Sasori wanted to back Deidara his completely before then.

After dinner in the cafeteria with their friends, the two loves went back to their room. The door was barely close before they were kissing heatedly on Sasori's bed. Sasori's hands were on Deidara's hips, but were slowly moving to play with the buttons on the blonde's jeans.

Deidara shivered in delight, but still pulled away from Sasori. "Danna…" he said, nervously.

"Why do you not want this so bad?" Sasori asked, slightly hurt, "You did it with Itachi right?"

"That's sort of the problem," Deidara admitted, "After I had sex with Itachi, that's all he would do. I don't want that to happen with us."

Sasori frowned, "That's it?" he asked, "Listen, did Itachi ever tell you he loved you?" Deidara shook his head no. "Did you ever tell him you loved him?"

"I never did love him, un," Deidara said.

"And that's where Itachi and I differ," Sasori said, running a finger along the blonde's jaw, "We love each other."

Deidara smiled, "Now that you mention it, you're right," he said, "I love you Sasori."

"I love you too," Sasori said and recaptured the blonde's lips.

As they kissed, the sounds of Deidara's light moans slipping though, the blonde began unbuttoning Sasori's shirt. When the last button was undone, Deidra slipped off Sasori's shirt and ended the kiss.

"Oh!" Deidara said in surprise, on Sasori's chest was a tattoo with the kanji for 'scorpion' on it (A/N Thanks anbu of iwa/anonymous?).

"Like it?" Sasori asked.

"Actually…" Deidara said, and slipped off his t-shirt, revealing a realistic looking mouth with its tongue sticking out tattooed on his chest, "I have one too."

To Deidara's surprise, Sasori pushed him to lie down on the bed and straddled him. "My, my, baby, you just got even sexier," he murmured and Deidara giggled. The redhead licked up the blonde's chest and neck until their lips met once again. Sasori grappled with Deidara's hair tie and freed his blonde locks, while Deidara opened his legs for Sasori to rest in between them.

"Oh god Sasori, unnnnn," Deidara moaned as he felt Sasori's hard member press against him.

"God, you're so beautiful Dei," Sasori whispered, pressing kisses against the other artist's neck, "A real work of art."

The two rocked their hips together sensually as they littered hot kisses over each other's necks and faces. "I need you now, Sasori-danna," Deidara said. Sasori moaned at hearing Deidara's nickname for him said in such a lustful voice.

Now a little more urgent, Sasori swiftly unbuttoned Deidara's jeans and slid them, along with his boxers, down the blonde's long legs. Sasori smirked, seeing Deidara fully exposed and all his below him. The redhead reached for his lover's hard length, but Deidara stopped him.

"Forget the goddamn foreplay. In me, now," he demanded.

"It that any way to talk to your danna?" Sasori asked, but still reached into the nightstand for some lube. He found his prize and squeezed a generous amount on his fingers. "Up," Sasori said to the blonde, patting his thigh. Deidara obeyed and spread his legs wider, lifting his bottom a little. Sasori smirked and moved his lube covered middle finger to tease Deidara's pink hole. "You're so sexy, I could come from just looking at you," he murmured.

Deidara could do nothing but groan, especially when Sasori finally stuck his middle finger through the tight ring of muscles. "Sure is tight, are you sure you did it with Itachi that much?" Sasori asked, adding another finger.

"Well, it's been a while, unnnn," Deidara moaned.

Sasori deemed Deidara prepared enough, figuring he'd be fine since he had been with Itachi. He removed his fingers and handed the lube to Deidara before straddling the blonde's chest. The blonde took the lube and put a copious amount on his hands then proceeded to massage Sasori's length. Sasori pulled away after he thought he was ready to enter Deidara. The redhead moved back down and put Deidara's legs over his shoulders. "Are you ready?" he asked and Deidara nodded. Sasori teased the other artist's entrance with the head of his member before thrusting full into Deidara. The blonde screamed in pleasure and just slight pain.

"Sasori, move, please move," Deidara asked, clenching around Sasori's manhood. Sasori groaned and pulled out slightly and then thrusted back in violently. He continued pulling farther out and then thrusting harder and harder back in, trying different angles until Deidara screamed. "There Sasori there," Deidara said. Sasori smirked and thrusted into that spot repeatedly as hard as he could. Deidara screamed Sasori's name and came into their stomachs. Sasori groaned as Deidara's muscles clenched around him and buried himself as deep as he could and came hard into the blonde.

Sasori caught his breath and pulled out. He cleaned them off with the bed sheet. Deidara was lying still, panting. When they were both clean, Sasori lied down next to Deidara.

"I love you Sasori," Deidara murmured.

"I love you too," Sasori said.

"You know, for some reason. I've felt like I was some college whore or something. Don't really feel like that anymore."

"You are a whore. My whore."

"Hey!"

**The End**

**Sorry for the long wait, I've been procrastinating. It's here now though. Hope you liked the story. Please review.**

**Song: Sunday Morning be Maroon 5**


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